Spring – a time of renewal when everyone starts to tackle the task of cleaning and organizing their homes (and lives!).
Many of us in the “sandwich generation” not only organize our own homes, but we help our elderly parents out with the big cleaning and decluttering tasks of spring.
While you are helping out with cleaning, it’s a great time to get a feel for how your parents are doing on their own and to broach some difficult, but vital, subjects. I find that it’s easier to chat about these subjects while doing an activity, rather than sitting down for the stressful “formal talk”.
Here are five smart ways to help your elderly parents while you’re visiting for a spring clean:
1. Clean with a Purpose
As you’re cleaning and decluttering, don’t just “clean”. Look around with a critical eye to where your parents’ important stuff is being kept. Are the things they use often – or might need in an emergency – easily and safely accessible?
For example, Dad now uses a walker especially when he gets tired and starts to shuffle in the afternoon. Mom loves her scatter rugs collected from their travels. Scatter rugs can be a safety hazard and should be removed from the floors where Dad is using a walker. A solution might be for Mom to pick out her favourite rugs and mount them on the wall as art.
2. Find and Organize All Important Documents
Do your parents know where all of their most important documents are kept? Think of financial documents, birth certificates, Powers of Attorney, up-to-date health records, and passwords to computers and electronic devices.
I know some elders who have hundreds of papers stored in various places around their home. They don’t know where all of their crucial paperwork is, and it wouldn’t be easy to find for anyone who needed it.
While you’re going through things, find and put aside important documents. Get a well-labeled binder, folder, or box to store them in. Make sure that you have a log of all the important documents and where to find them so that both you and your parents know where they are.
By doing this, you’ll reduce stress in an unexpected crisis or emergency, when the documents may be needed.
3. Watch for Warning Signs
Do not ignore small signs of trouble when visiting your parents and helping them clean. Make note of anything that seems unusual or concerning.
Here are some examples of warning signs to look out for:
- Dad hasn’t been to the doctor for his regular checkup, despite complaining of a new pain down his arm.
- Mom’s pills aren’t well-organized and some pill bottles have expired. Is she taking her medication properly?
- Are your parents more stressed or frustrated than usual? Ask them what’s going on. There may be an underlying reason they are worried about discussing.
- Is Dad forgetting things more than usual? Did he go to the grocery store and forget his way home? Has this happened a few times?
- Is Mom following the conversation with her usual alertness or does she seem to respond inappropriately to questions?
- Do your elderly parents seem overwhelmed by any aspect of living alone, like doing laundry, getting up and down the stairs, or maintaining hygiene?
If you see signs like this, don’t wait until crisis strikes! Planning ahead will help you be prepared for anything that may come.
4. Evaluate Living Conditions
Living conditions can serve as one of the biggest warning signs of all.
Is the house still safe for your parents to live in? It’s an accident waiting to happen if the stairs don’t have a sturdy railing and your Dad relies on it to get up and down; or even something as simple as a rug with an upturned corner that your elderly parent could trip on.
What about the fire alarms and carbon monoxide detectors? Are they functioning?
Finally, sometimes you may notice the most basic things are missing. These can be the most worrying signs of all. Maybe your parents don’t have food in the fridge, because they’re having trouble getting out to do their grocery shopping. Or maybe the sinks and bathroom are quite dirty (not just untidy) because they have forgotten to clean.
Depending on what you notice, you may need to enlist the help of an expert to improve the safety in their home – or it’s time for a discussion about moving into different accommodation that is easier to manage..
5. Discuss Goals and Plans for Smart Ageing
This is a good time to bring up your parents’ goals for the future. Have they thought about how their future needs will be met, even in the face of unforeseen health issues or changes in circumstance?
Smart ageing means thinking about immediate priorities, short term goals, long term goals, and planning for possible future scenarios. It involves the intersection of numerous considerations, including health, legal, financial, living situation, and more.
A thorough plan gives elders control over their future, allowing them to plan according to their wishes. You – their adult child(ren) – will have a detailed outline of your parents’ desires and a solid plan to fall back on should anything unexpected occur.
Initiate the talk about planning now to avoid stress. And when the phone call happens and your parents do need help, you have a plan worked out in advance.
Silver Sherpa can ensure you don’t overlook anything in your parents’ current circumstances or their future plan with our Smart Ageing Audit and our Personalized Living Plan. We encourage you to set up a complimentary discovery session with us to see if we can help in your situation.
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