Should They Stay or Should They Go: How Long Should an Elderly Person Stay in Their Own Home?
Many people think of staying in their own home until end of life as the “gold standard”. Often, healthcare professionals and government agencies lead people to believe that this is the goal.
Not so fast—there are numerous considerations that everyone should look at for their own well-being and that families should review together.
Considerations for Living at Home Alone
There are 2 key areas that should be assessed to start:
- Can the person function independently in the community (referred to as IADL)?
This includes activities such as the ability to use the telephone; take care of shopping needs; plan, prepare, and serve regular meals; maintain the house both inside and outside; do personal laundry; travel independently on public transit or in own car; responsibility for correctly taking medication on time; and manage financial matters such as paying bills, creating a budget, doing banking, and filing taxes independently.
- Can the person perform basic activities of daily living (referred to as ADL)?
These types of activities include bathing, dressing, toileting, transferring from one place to another, self control over continence, and feeding and drinking independently.
Additional Factors to Consider
- Safety Factors: If your parent cannot get up and down stairs safely without fear of falling; has poor short-term memory and forgets to lock doors or windows at night or forgets to turn off the stove after use, it may be time to leave their home for their own safety.
- Vulnerability to Scams: Many elders are lonely, and some may have early dementia – making them vulnerable to scams at the door, such as selling roofing or driveway sealing over and over again. They may also be vulnerable to charity scams, telephone scams, or online scams. Read our two-part blog series on Common Scams Targeted at Elders to learn more.
- Vulnerability to Romantic Scams: Romance scams, in particular, are on the rise. In this scenario, a lonely older person gets involved with someone who says they care deeply for them, gaining their trust before scamming them. In 2018, romance fraud was the number 1 scam in Canada in terms of dollars lost, with seniors being especially vulnerable.
- Ability to Drive: Your elderly parent may be hanging up the car keys due to vision or other factors. The independence that driving provides often has a big impact on whether it makes more sense to stay in their home or to look at alternatives.
Identifying Living Solutions for Seniors
It all starts with having the talk—it’s just as difficult as having “the talk” with your tween! However uncomfortable the conversation may be, it’s important to think about these things in advance so that you and your family have a plan in place when the time comes.
Initially, it may make sense for the elderly parent to live alone at home with added layers of help, as needed. Another option is moving to a smaller place in a seniors-friendly building for companionship and a more protected environment with people nearby. Never underestimate the value of having an independent third party involved in the discussion. After all, nobody wants to listen to their adult kids telling them what to do! The experts can offer “what if” scenarios, and then work out potential costed solutions with the parent. Often, elderly people are afraid to think about losing mobility or capacity, but it doesn’t have to be doom and gloom. There are many options available that strike a balance between safety and independence.
If you need assistance navigating solutions for your elderly parent who wants to stay in their home, we can help – contact us today.
About Silver Sherpa
Silver Sherpa offers a unique combination of healthcare expertise, estate planning knowledge, and project management skills to help the elderly and families. Get in touch with us to discuss your needs – it can be as brief as 15 minutes or as long as you need.